Black speak

October 15th, 2006 Written by barry

Throw away your dictionary, toss out your thesaurus and abandon all traces of the English language as we know it. We are being invaded by a new, cool language that is sweeping the nation, and its not just limited to kids! Thats right, idiots can catch it too!

Whats with all this black speak nonesense? “aiiiightt”, “wit”, “bro”, “ho”… get a grip!

It seems everywhere we turn, we are subjected to teenagers, and now thick adults, bouncing along in their nice white trainers, a peaked cap on under their hoodie, talking like they are from the Bronx! A month in the Bronx would actually do these idoits the world of good… it may knock some sense into them.

You only have to listen to the Top 40 UK Charts (thats right… UK charts, not Nigerian Charts!) to realise that our language has gone to the dogs. If you can listen to a 3 minute track without a reference to somebody smacking their bitch, pounding their ass, shooting some “crew” or calling themselves “nigga” (isnt that racist?) then you obviously arent listening to a hip-hop track.

Some band, in their effort to be cool, have even gone as far as to “officially” spell the words wrong. Take for example the Pussy Cat Dolls and their pathetically named track “stickwitu”.. supposedly meaning “Stick with you”… but of course that wouldnt be cool or black enough would it? So… “wit” is not the official way to spell “with”? No wonder kids are thick these days. I would have got a board-rubber round my head in school for spelling like that!

So its official… if you want to be cool these days, then you have to do the following:

• Wear ridiculously baggy jeans, a vest with token large medallion and cap/hoodie combo
• Walk like you have just had springs installed in your gleaming white trainers
• Wave your arms around sticking your fingers out at funny angles, whilst talking “black speak”
• Pretend you are black

You can then be classed as officially cool…. god help us!

When will Great Britain be Great again?

Entry Filed under: Rants & Views