As you all know, I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity, ineptitude and sheer profligacy demonstrated by councils nationwide…most of you probably feel the same. Speaking personally, it has almost become a vocational duty to heap huge amounts of disrespect upon those councils and politicians that are seriously deserving of it. Thus, today we are specially privileged, in that we have two truly deserving contenders for the crown of ‘stupidest council in the land’.
The first contender is Bolton Council, who has just fined a young mother £400 for leaving her wheelie bin in the wrong place. Now where did she leave her bin, I hear you ask? Surely, she must have seriously endangered the public’s safety with her reckless actions to warrant such a response; was the bin left in such a position so as to be liable to cause a road accident? Perhaps it was obstructing an emergency access way, so as to delay emergency services and endanger lives? Did the unthinking young lady place the bin in a place frequented by the elderly and cause them to trip and seriously injure themselves? No…MUCH worse…Holly Dutton, the reprehensible miscreant in question, had the temerity to leave her wheelie bin in the back alley behind her house!
Holly, a mother of two and an agency carer, says that she left her bin in the alley (as she and her neighbours had been doing for the past seven years) because the small terrace house where she lives, only has a small back yard of 8ft by 4ft and rubbish kept so close to the house causes a foul stench…although not so foul as the actions of the council I suspect.
A council spokesman said the action had been necessary, as bins left in alleys or the street are a magnet for arsonists…more like, councils are a magnet for morons!
These council employees are truly sad and pathetic people; they mustn’t actually have a real life of their own. You can just picture them arriving home after work, meekly putting on the dinner and quickly cleaning around the house for their domineering partner. After being berated because they took 5 minutes too long to get their partner a brew, they meekly apologise and settle down to read some lofty tome on social psychology and sociology, which is, no doubt, where they derive their imbecilic ideas on how the world works.
But come midnight, they spring to life and creep outdoors armed with their trusty notebook; they no doubt, proceed to prowl the alleyways and rifle through bins, taking down the details of those who have transgressed their pathetic council diktats and in the morning, forearmed with a list of people to be prosecuted, they proceed to take revenge on innocent people, to compensate for their own simpering inadequacy.
Not to be outdone, the second contender in the stupidest council stakes is Birmingham City Council. It has transpired that this profligate bunch has spent over £1 million of their council tax payer’s money on translation services for immigrants and asylum seekers. In typical council fashion, a spokesman for Birmingham Council said that they were under a statutory duty to provide access to services to all residents within their Ward and as many were ethnic, they also had to provide adequate translation services.
Now this is one of the biggest and most repeated untruths being circulated by the pinko liberals that run all the councils; in actual fact British and European law requires that everyone have equal access to services, but that translation, is only mandatory, when someone has been charged with a crime; thus, many millions of our tax money has already been wasted, based on a blatant misinterpretation of the law.
The whole issue regarding translation services is surely easy enough to sort out provided that we have the guts to enforce it: If you don’t know the language…don’t come here…or if you do, be prepared to take English classes.
What compounds Birmingham Council’s folly though, is the sheer scale of the languages provided for; some of the many are Twi, Amharic, Shona, Lingala, Mirpuri, Pushto, Swahili, Welsh and Gaelic…truly staggering. What is even more staggering though is that the last two on the list were even considered at all…they are truly taking the p*ss.
Fortunately, the exceptionally imbecilic actions of Birmingham Council have provided me with the answer to theirs and all the other councils follies: we should gather up all the council workers, alongside with the p*ss taking Welsh and Gaelic speakers and deport them to the places that speak Twi, Amharic, Shona, Lingala etc. Simultaneously, we should take all the immigrants from those Twi, Amharic, Shona etc speaking lands and give them the vacant council jobs…after all…they couldn’t possibly do a worse job than the previous incumbents.