Islington Council vies for top spot in the stupidity stakes

November 22nd, 2007 Written by Biz

Before bringing you an example of latest manifestation of the lunacy that is running rampant within our country, I must first ask you whether you have noticed the increasing habit within all Councils of systematically and savagely pruning mature trees; reducing them in a trice to mere parodies of their former selves? 

 

The result of this wanton eco-vandalism is that invariably, where there once stood proud avenues of 100 year old trees that provided the locals with a beautiful distraction from the grim realities of metropolitan life; what remains is a scene reminiscent of the blasted forests at Verdun and Passiondale. Even the following spring merely brings forth scenes of the deformed skeletal outlines of formerly glorious arboreal giants, which the fresh green growth of the new season can barely disguise. 

 

I am certain that the reason for this savagery cannot be on the grounds of safety, as the pruning is systematic and widespread and on most occasions are in locations that ostensibly pose not the slightest danger to the public: in fact, it is a sad truth that many more people have been killed by infections caught at NHS hospitals than have ever been injured by trees. If safety is not the issue, then (and you must forgive my cynicism) I can only think of several more reasons for the practice: 

 

• It creates more jobs for Council workers…or, if the work is sub-contracted, it provides ‘kickbacks’ to the people awarding the contracts. 
• It creates less work for the street cleaners because by lopping off most of the major branches, there are less leaves, conkers, acorns or branches to pick up in the autumn. 
• By appearing to be ‘busy’, even on senseless tasks, Councils justify their outrageous Council Taxes. 

 

In fairness though, if you believe that I am categorically wrong about the above suppositions, let me know…in the meantime back to Islington Council. 

 

Like all London Boroughs, Islington has it’s fair share of problems; crimes including burglary, criminal damage, drug offences, robbery and violence occur on its streets, however, those offences have now been joined by one more occurrence that demands action from the Council; the danger of falling fruit! 

 

It seems that last year, Islington Council, in common with many other Councils went on a rampage of pruning and severely lopped branches in a street lined with beautiful, mature and flowering Pear trees. This year as a consequence of said pruning, the trees have produced a crop of giant Pears and in response, the Council now plan to completely remove all the trees on the grounds of safety…apparently, someone might be badly hurt by the fruit if they fell. 

 

Naturally, the local residents are up in arms and their protestations have temporarily won them a ‘stay of execution’ for their beloved trees. The local’s quite rightly argue that the trees produce a spectacular display of amazing multi-coloured blossom in the spring, which is quite literally ‘life-enhancing’. Whilst admitting that falling fruit could be a problem in terms of mess, they also (quite rightly) point that the Council should then, make an extra effort to clean up. Additionally, the residents, in an effort to keep their trees, have offered to fund the cost of any extra cleaning between themselves…a gesture that the Council turned down. 

 

It seems to me that this is just another example of Council lunacy. The Council caused this problem themselves by savaging the trees, but now they want to punish the trees for their natural response and also to blight the lives of the local residents for the Council’s own foolish mistakes. Never mind dangerous fruit; Islington residents stand far more chance of being mugged, burgled or having their property damaged and yet the perpetrators of these crimes will walk about unhindered because valuable resources are being wasted dealing with a ‘deadly epidemic of falling fruit’. 

 

All I can say is that I genuinely thank God that Councils weren’t invented during the time of Sir Isaac Newton…had they been, it is entirely possible that the laws of gravitation and all the marvels of modern science stemming therefrom, might never have been discovered! 

 

 

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