Zis is forbidden

December 13th, 2007 Written by Biz

I read with some interest, of a new bill that is due for debate today in the German Parliament; The Reichstag.  Having been a keen historian, specialising in German history for some three decades now, I cannot but be amazed at the proposal. The Bill proposes nothing less than to make public shows of affection between under 18’s illegal. Worse that that; in view of some of the stereotypes that their history has engendered, it threatens to make Germany a laughing stock.
 

The years between the ages of 16 and 18 have always been somewhat precarious, consigned as they are, to a sort of limbo between adolescence and official adulthood. For instance, at 16 (in the UK) you can join the Army, get a full time job, pilot a glider, live independently and legally have sex. At 17, your opportunities expand to include the right to emigrate, to hold a full driving license, to pilot a plane and to be exempt from care orders. Strangely, although liable to Tax and NI you are unable to legally smoke or drink at a bar until 18.
 

One thing you are able to do at 16 though, in all countries (except in those controlled by strange folk who like to declare Jihad’s at the drop of a hat), is to walk down the road hand in hand with your chick and give her a kiss, without having to worry about being arrested.
 

So what has happened in Germany? Have the Germans had a sort of eastern epiphany? Have they changed sides faster than an Italian in a World War? Will they all start praying 7 times a day and face their prayer mats North East toward Berlin? Will they stop eating bacon and insist that their women wrap up in tents? Or is there something more sinister going on?
 

Could it be that the Germans have fooled us for all these years, and are now reverting to type? You can just picture it:
 

Two young lovers rendezvous at opposite ends of the town square. Waiting nervously in the shadows, at last they hear the resonant tones of the town clock strike midnight and at this pre-determined cue they make their move.
 

 Keeping within the shadows they move swiftly to a darkened side street and from there they run, hand in hand, through a labyrinth of dark foggy alleys until they finally arrive at their destination. Their young hearts pounding, they fall into each others arms…safe at last.
 

Lost in a heaven of bliss and warmth, they fail to notice the faint footfalls echoing in the nearby alleys…until it’s too late!
 

“Stand still…or ve vill shoot”.
 

Two tall men in black leather trench coats and trilbies suddenly flash their ID’s. “Gestapo…vot iz your name boy?”
 

With a racing heart and one final show of defiance the young girl’s desperate cry reverberates into the night…
 

“Don’t tell them Pike”.
 
 

 

 

 

 

Entry Filed under: Rants & Views